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7:33 p.m. - 2002-04-27 I volunteered to help with a charity project called X-mas in April. It is a program where they find a distressed property inhabited by an elderly person that is in dire need of repairs. This year they found a woman who has 72 grandchildren and a house that needs a new roof and dry rot repair. I want to be in bed. I want any percentage of her grandchildren to get together and fix her roof so I can stay in my god damned underwear. It is 7:18 pm. I am back home in my underwear. The day was pretty fucking okay. I got there on time and found about eighty people milling about in front of the house, mostly high school and Cal students, and pretty much all of the carpenters from my company. There was also a singles club called �The dating do-gooders� who get together and volunteer to do shit. I�m not commenting on them any further than to say �way to go guys!� As for the millions of high school girls let me just put it this way; at one point I stood still and listened to the conversations as they blended together from the rooftop to the scaffolding to the deck to the ground. It sounded as if a whole field of singing crickets decided that instead of rubbing their wings together they would switch to saying �like�. How fucking old am I when I can�t even lust after high school girls anymore. Fuck. One called me �sir�. Fuck. So we started with scraping the paint and doing dry rot repair inside. All of the unskilled volunteers got their scrape on, and as they teemed all over the building it looked like a colony of ants had discovered a dead beetle or something. I met the woman who lives in the house; an old black wheelchair bound lady by the name of Virginia Grimes. She seems like a character that McRuss (my pal)would have a dream about kicking or something. She really does have seventy-two grand children. I�m going to take a fucking shower. The end.
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