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12:28 p.m. - 2002-06-17 This is why I wish I were a narcoleptic insomniac. I�d be a millionaire by now if I could just harness that period of brain activity and somehow develop the amazing products that would result. They could hook me up to some sort of device and the world�s problems would be solved. Self-cleaning laundry. Vegi-dogs with the mustard already inside. Porcupines bred with dull quills for pets. Etc. There is a store near my house that boasts the sale of �antiques, junktiques and funktiques�. Today I plan to use my tremendous sleuthing skills to nail down the exact definition of a funktique by example. I�ll report.
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