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3:28 p.m. - 2001-09-19
They all want me, afterall
I spoke to my mom in Canada last night. Just hearing her voice soothed me out of the terror that I had worked myself into. After we hung up I checked my Email and had recieved a forward of a letter written by an Afghan-American. His take on the situation was refreshingly well informed and I found myself actually learning something. When I woke up this morning to my radio alarm, the comedy show was reading the same letter that had been forwarded to me. The hosts of the show actually understood some of the politics involved this morning, as compared to last week when they were screaming for blood along with most of the rest of the population. I remember at one point durring their rant last week, they asked each other what the Taliban was. Nobody knew. Well they found out since then, and the point of view that they are touting is much improved for it.

Today I found myself being pleasantly shocked, over and over at the things I was hearing on the radio.Conclusions that I have drawn myself over the past week were offered by people who were scaring the shit out of me with their patriotic bravado only days ago. There were useful interviews with people who had actual information. The right wing fanatic hosts were countered by people who knew more than loaded words and meaningless patriotic babble. Even that dimwitted cowboy we call a president has changed his tone. He went from using phrases like "wanted dead or alive" and terms like "crusade" that could only serve to infuriate the people we are about to depend on for asistance, to trying, in his very limited capacity, to say that maybe there are reasons these terorrist don't like us other than bloodlust and and a demonic hatred for apple pie.

It seems like the government needed to rile up the public to rally them behind a common goal. Now they need to calm us down and focus that energy in a way that is condusive to reaching that goal.

I learned a lot today. It sure feels good to be learning again instead of trying to deflect all the bullshit. It is nice to see the country put on the fucking brakes, I was begining to think we were going to throw ourselves over the edge. I still resent the way the media and the government have tried to manipulate me with fear and propaganda, but in retrospect even if I can't trust what they tell me, maybe I can trust that they know better than they would have us know. At any rate, I'm glad to have it all toned down, even if the only peace gained is in my own thinkpiece.

Anyway, I have tried to not use this diary as an outlet for my feelings about this whole issue. I wanted it to be an escape of sorts, so here is a story about what an idiot I am.

I have an electronic organizer. One day I was flipping through it when I came across the name "Supercute". There was only a number to go with the name and I knew that I had never entered it.

My first thought, in my infinite ego, was that I had a secret admirer who had waited until I had my guard down, and covertly slipped me her number on the sly. I had other thoughts too, but prefered to stick with this explaination because the others didn't factor in how irresistable I was.

Something in the back of my mind told me that I had better check it out first though, just as an exersise in caution.

So I paged Jane. It could have been her afterall, just playing a joke. She called me from school.

Jane- "Is everything O.K.? Whats wrong?"

Mr. Irresistable yours truely-"Nothing, how ya doing sweetie?"

Jane- "uh, well I'm in the middle of something in the computer lab, I left all my stuff at a station unattended, are you allright?"

Myself, the playa- "yeah everythings cool, hey did you put the name supercute in my visor?"

Jane- " There are people waiting in line to use the station I'm on, is this important?"

Gods gift to women- "Are you sure you never put it it in?"

Jane- "Yes. I'm sure. I have to go. Bye." -click- "Bye sweetie-pie, I'll see you later."

I knew it! It had to be a crush! But wait. My foreman had recently beamed me all of our business contacts from his palm pilot. Maybe one of his personal numbers got mixed in.

I called him immediatly.

Foreman- "Kinda busy Eli, I'm in a meeting."

Model employee and chick magnet- "Whats up Ron? Hey do you have a freind with the nickname supercute?"

Foreman- "Um... I don't think so. I don't know. Can you call me back later?"

Non-slacker- " You sure? Because I found this name in my visor, and I'm not sure how it got there. Did you beam it to me?"

Foreman-"I gotta go dog, people are waiting for me" -click-

Companyman-" allright dude, I'll call you later when I figue it out and let you know who it is."

Now I was sure. I better make contact. After all, this poor girl had gone to a lot of trouble to get my attention. You had to give it up to her for inginuity and brass. How could she know I was already in a happy relationship? And even if she did know, you couldn't fault her for giving it a shot.

I dialed the number.

Old lady- "H...hellooo?"

Confused but debonair- "Ooh, I think I dialed wrong"

Old very cranky at being distubed lady-"Yes, I THINK YOU DID!" -click-

Casanova- "Sorry maam, my mistake. Have a good morning!"

As I redialed the number I considered how I would break this girls heart. Whoever she was, she obviosly had good taste. I decided that honesty was the best policy. I would just come out and tell her that I was taken. She would want to be friends of course, but considering her feelings for me, it would be best not to pursue a friendship. That situation would be disrespectfull to Jane, and could only prove tortuous to her, whoever she was. She obviosly had some self esteem; she dubbed herself supercute afterall. She'd be fine.

The phone began to ring on the other end. I steadied myself for the task ahead of me. They answered.

"Supercuts. Can I help you?"


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