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7:40 p.m. - 2001-10-09
Waking Up Crying and Sweating Makes Me Cranky
My computer isn't crashing nearly as much as yesterday. Since I blamed myself for it's failure, I have no problem taking full credit for it's bug free operation today. The key is to not click on a buncha shit you don't understand.

I had the worst nightmare of my life this morning. I won't go into details because I generally hate hearing about peoples dreams and only rehash my own slumber adventures with those who can't click the back button at the top of the screen. The interesting part is that I woke up Jane up because I was crying and shaking in my sleep.

I have never experienced this before in my life, even though I have had a hand full of vivid dreams that have stuck with me, and even some that had some relevance to future events i.e., the city being enveloped in a larger than life smoke cloud the likes of which would never be suggested to me until…

I'll tell you one thing though, waking up crying in a cold sweat? I don't like it.


You know what's beginning to piss me off? The often spouted opinion that it is our duty to come together as a nation and support W. Bush. What a fucking crock. For politicians, even the democrats, it makes sense to go this route because your job is to be a fucking liar. But for all the rest of you who suddenly decided that Bush jr. is a genius because he says he don't like it that somebody crashed a few planes into some buildings and hell, you agree with him, check yourself for chrissakes. If you always supported Bush, go ahead and love his ass, but for the people who suddenly feel so safe in his hands like he's your papa driving you home late at night in the rain as you drift off to sleep in the back seat, well- WHY?

He's doing it right, you say. He's making wise decisions. Come on!. The only decision he's making is to relay the decisions being made by other people to you in some of the worst speeches ever uttered.

"Rah! Rah! … won't tolerate terrorism."


"Blah, blah fucking blah, Will not stand."


"Rhetoric, rhetoric, Make no mistake…freedom…God…evil acts go unpunished…thank you."


My theory is that his speech writers figured that it is easier to use the same words in a different order than try to teach him a bunch of new ones every time. Now all they need to do is start spelling the words on the telle-prompter phonetically.


I heard that they are going to have a made for T.V. dramatization of the heroes on the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania.


As long as we are making movies about un-provable theories, how about this one?

The U.S government shot down the plane. It was headed toward the pentagon- not the White House . Why would these terrorists, as part of an incredibly orchestrated plan, decide to crash one of the few planes they had into the presidentially uninhabited, missile protected White House? Everyone in the world knew that Bush and Airforce One were in Florida that day.

They wanted to ruin our spirit by attacking a symbol of our country? To enrage us and slap us in the face? Hmmm…I might be wrong, but an elementary school full of kids and the President might have served that purpose better, if they really decided to deviate from the military and economic epicenter route.

And what happened to the reports about a part of the fuselage being found two miles from the crash site? The FBI stopped talking about that almost as fast as they started. Right about the time this hero theory started getting repeated in the news every five minutes, complete with passenger stats like height, weight and college wrestling experience. The FBI said they could not rule out military action bringing down the plane at a press conference, then called another one a half hour later and did just that, with no explanation and no more talk of finding pieces of the plane away from the main crash site.


I saw a quote from the wife of one of the hero passengers that said something to the effect that God needed her husband on the plane that day as part of his plan to save lives. I don't begrudge her clinging to that to help explain her pain and loss, but for everyone else…please tell me how that works.

One more thing, why were there only 185 people killed at the pentagon, the biggest office building in the world? Who were they? Was anyone of official importance killed? Just asking.

But I'm sure our government would tell us all the facts, right? They don't keep military secrets from us anymore, like when they tested the atom bomb for the first time, and all the government officials and their families were under ground because they didn't know the ramifications of nuclear reaction.

I think I like the passenger hero idea better though. I hope they write 'em up some good action movie hero quips to say before they thwart the terrorists. I think that's how God would have planned it.


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