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12:40 a.m. - 2002-01-30
No seriously, when?
My first full day as a retired man went swimmingly.

I have often marveled at the ability of the elderly to find such minute faults with just about everything in existence. I now realize that has less to do with talent and experience than it does with the number of hours in the day one can dedicate to the task.

On this day I was able to be irritated by a great number of things that do not affect me or anyone I know in any negative manner whatsoever.

God it's fun.

I also walked down to the beach which is a mere block and a half from this very computer. It was gorgeous today. As I stood facing the relentless crashing waves of the magnificent pacific ocean, reflecting upon the fact that I live on the very edge of North America I had to stop and wonder, when's the next time I'm going to get laid?

Did you know that my grocery store has started to carry DVDs for sale? It's true. I guess it makes sense, I mean the price that they pawn those things off on people lands them comfortably in the impulse item category. Yet, the titles offered were…interesting fucking stupid.

Private Benjamin.
The Man With Two Brains.
Made in America.
Fair Game.

Now the last two I can understand, Made in America was the film that brought Whoopi and Sam Malone together to find, and presumably consummate, a love for each other.
Mmmhmm. You made it this far without thinking about that.

Imagine it. IMAGINE IT!

Fair Game was Cindy Crawford's feature length film debut opposite one of the Baldwin's whose first name doesn't warrant me firing the synapses required to remember it.

Classics therefore, both.

Since they were produced pre millenium, they are exempt from my "the movie" suffix rule due to a grandfather clause, but still I didn't purchase them. Now, if you are part of the market percentage found to have a desire to own these film on DVD by whatever analysis devices the Hollywood production companies saw fit to employ in order to conclude that the public demand warranted distributing a half dozen copies of each title to my local Albertsons grocery store, well, um, I hope to hell it's because one of your family members was in the damn thing.

Rent 'em. Once. On VHS. Because your first choice is out.

Please don't own it on DVD!...Please?

I also went over to Diary-X today and snooped around a little. It was kind of like going to Canada, everything was pretty much the same--language, currency breakdown etc., but I knew that it was a foreign land. I found one guy in particular who is so funny that I felt like trying to convince him to defect during the Olympics.

That's all. Tomorrow I plan to step out and find some youngsters to bore with stories of how it was when I was a lad and such.

Here's a quote from chiv that sums up my present life a little too aptly. Damn it Chiv.

~well stomp on frogs an shove a crowbar up my nose, i can't bring myself to think about how bloody awful things feel, and look, because i've got myself a few short term distractions that will bring me to some proper ranting at a later date, no doubt.~


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