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9:29 p.m. - 2002-02-12
But Bin Laden has the best shit!
This whole "I support terrorists by doing drugs" campaign is pissing me off more and more by the minute.

Legalize it you fucking morons, then it won't be worth anything anymore.

You know what stopped all the killings on the streets of Chicago during prohibition? Not the Untouchables. Not wagging the governmental finger at the people who wanted to drink some beer. Legalization.

Anyway, the money I spent on drugs last year probably went to the idiot who got caught with the explosive shoes.

Seriously, you don't hear these motherfuckers telling you to conserve oil so we will stop pumping money into the middle east, and help save the environment as well. But someone came up with this contrived bullshit and now I have to hear about it constantly. How are they going to twist this event next?

"Osama Bin Laden loves tax cheats! They make his life easier."

I would suggest a campaign to get folks to spend more of their disposable income by giving everyone a button proclaiming their "infidel factor". Let's really stick it to those terrorist and show 'em they can't affect American decadence!

I looked at the nutrition facts on a Dove ice cream bar the other day. 68% of your daily allowance of fat. That leaves 32% (note the math skills, more proof that drugs are just fine for the ol' brain), left for one to spread out between the three square meals, and whatever snacks, and whatever beverages they consume during the rest of the 23 hours and 50 minutes they have left when they are not eating the thing.

Despite what the Government would imply, illicit drug use and drug trade funded terror are not the leading cause of death in the US. Heart disease is, often caused by obesity. It kills way more people than crack and heroin and speed. More than legally prescribed drugs taken under the supervision of a doctor even, which eclipses illegal drug deaths as well.

I'm not sure if that includes all of the weed deaths though…

Anyway, my point is outlaw the fucking Hagen Daas. Outlaw the free cinnastix with every large single topping pizza from dominoes. Outlaw deep fried cheese for the love of god, but let me eat a fucking pill that makes me feel happy every now and then.

I mean, other people. Let them eat one.


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