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11:07 p.m. - 2002-03-03
Don't do any of the supercool stunts on Jackass either stupid.
I am typing this on my brand new used computer. It is so much better than my old computer that it makes my old computer seem like a typewriter.

I miss my old computer. Too much change in the last three months for my tastes.

This weekend I went to a bar in North Beach. It felt like another city. Another city in another country.

The neighborhood was teeming with cops and thugs and lots of other people filling the spaces between. The cops were not only everywhere, but they were talking shit like professional wrestlers.

Apart from overhearing a cop call one guy a J-cat for no particular reason other than to clown him, I also heard the following exchange:

Cop:You alright over there, you havin’ a seizure?
Thug:Nah, nah, nah. I was just dancin’ and shit!
Cop:Oh, is that what you call it?

Also, it seems that Bravenet may be no more. I am going to switch to signmyguestbook now. I like Bravenet better, except for the whole not working anymore thing.

You know what I like about MTV? They have this new show called flipped where they take teens who are careening down the wrong path, the path to certain destruction via drugs and sex and violence and whatnot, and teach them a good lesson by making them wear make-up and pretend that they have Aids or a baby or are a doctor who deals with the ill effects of gun violence on a daily basis or making them dress up in wack clothes for a day like the kid they bully. They have them talk to parents whose children have OD'd and girls who have dropped out of school because they got pregnant, or blah, blah, blah. Then, right after an episode regarding the downside of unprotected sex or being overly concerned with your apearance, they run a show called dismissed where the viewer gets to bet on which extremely good looking, and I mean freak of nature good looking, asshole will convince the slut to pick them to fuck.

The object seems to be to act as slutty/arrogant as possible so that the picker will chose them. And they always ALWAYS pick the most slutty/arrogant.

Then, next week they will play wrestling after a violence awareness episode of flipped. Then they will play Cribs, the show where rockstars sy shit like "You gotta have the ($250) Crystal in the fridge. You gotta have the ($350,000) Bentley in the driveway" after an episode describing the downfalls of overspending.

Here’s all of the things you shouldn’t do kids, but if you could, look how much fun you’d have! But don’t, okay? Just masturbate to the ass shaking videos, punch your pillow and yell while you watch wrestling, gossip about the cast of The Real World instead of the overweight people at your school, and buy all of these products while you’re at it.



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