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6:36 p.m. - 2002-03-12
Being wrong is what made me feel the worst though.

MY PLAGURIZED PLAN TO CONTINUED WORLD DOMINATION

1.Get elected president, even though I have done drugs and have laughable qualifications, in a questionable victory by a questionable margin.

2.Prime the population for a self-preservation mentality by shaking up the previously inflated economy.

3.Ride a televised and terrible, yet isolated, act of aggression that takes the lives of a statistically insignificant portion of the population (don’t start with me because my whole family plus everybody I have ever liked and loved, plus you, plus me, are statistically insignificant too) to an open vault of tax money to spend in an unaccountable and infinite “war on something intangible”.

4.Prepare to destroy the chances of anyone else to ever stand on my high moral ground of unmatchable destructive capabilities so they won’t have the power to be “evil” and destructive through threats, and acts, of destruction.

Last night I had a discussion regarding a certain radio morning show and the merits of waking up to it. The other party contended that it was obnoxious and not very funny and generally unpleasant to be the first thing one comprehends at the start of their day. I agreed that it could very well be unpleasant sometimes, but other times it was a shiny beacon of comedy, and at any rate seldom left one with the desire to stay in bed and go back to sleep to it’s melody, an important part of any wake-up call.

We agreed to disagree.

I was proven wrong this morning with the equivalent of a sledge hammer to the grill when the first official act of the DJ, after a tremendously annoying theme song, was to recount a news item where a family had petitioned and changed the rape laws of their home state. They wanted it to include using “objects” to penetrate the victim after the rapist of their own little girl was set free due to the previous lack of that stipulation. Now, it seems, the mother and father in this same family will be the first people prosecuted under this new law after forcefully artificially inseminating the same 16y/o girl so they could have the grandchild they wanted.

Then the DJ talked about Bush's new plan to nuke the world.

Then they called up an old lady and told her that they were calling from the dump and found a bag of her garbage full of porn and sex toys.

Then it was 6:15 am and I had to get up.

Strangely, while I have no problem ruining the rest of your day by telling you all about it, I am still very angry with that fucking DJ.

 

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