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10:47 a.m. - 2002-04-16
In honor of my new drugged persona, I have decided to take a break from the miserable similes and metaphors and give everyone a treat in the form of the first ever “How much am I like Heckafresh?” online quiz. Enjoy, and be honest!

1. This weekend, on my way to Mendocino where I spoke my first word incidentally (peek-a-boo), I was shocked to find out that I need glasses when I tried on my friend A-dog’s pair and found that instead of making shit blurry, it made my vision much better.

2. Once in Mendocino, I fell into a deep psychiatrist provided drug induced slumber and woke in the morn to find that the house where I had been sleeping was directly on the edge of an old cemetery.

3. I also got sunburned really badly.

4. While walking home drunk from the local bar on Saturday night I saw a frog sitting in the road and picked it up to walk it to the other side so as the little fucker didn’t get squished, even though there was probably not another car on the road until we left the next day.

5. I am waiting for the day that Ja-rule will stop singing—even if it means he goes back to rapping.

If you answered yes to all five questions, you are just like Heckafresh. What I would do if I were you, and since you are just like me presumably you will do it too, is pay a hotshot web designer to create an HTML button to proudly display on your site exclaiming how you are just like me. Don’t be cheap now, you deserve to splurge!

If you answered yes to 4-2 of the questions, what a coinky-dink!

If you answered yes to only one, well how the fuck does he keep selling records then?

PS thanks for all of the concerned notes and thoughts. As much as I am unable to listen to anyone right now, it is nice to have people want to tell me stuff.


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