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9:04 p.m. - 2002-05-10
It's a good itch though.
Iíve got little itchy bits of hair up my ass, and this time they're from my head.

Yep, thatís right! As advertised, today was haircut day, and Friday here in California. I got a trim and Iím looking dapper as ever.

My head weighs about four pounds lighter now; it is a great feeling let me tell you. It is reminiscent of standing in the batter box taking practice swings with those circley weight thingers on the bat, and then taking them off to fool your idiot body into thinking that the bat is all but weightless.

Man, if I get in a fight at the bar tonight, best believe Iíll be head-butting the shit out of somethiní.

In other hair related grooming news, I have reached the end of my price club value pack of sensor excel razor blades, just at the same time Gillette comes out with their newest, fanglest three bladed wonder ever! The whisker deities are on point. Truthfully though, I was hoping this last pack of 12,000 blades would last me to the introduction of the Gillette Mach 17 razor, the one you mount on your wall, spray with shaving cream, and rub your face up and down itís 17 bladed, aloe vera lubricated strip boasting surface.

Oh well sir.

Why the sudden obsession with hair growth control techniques you may ask? Well no reason really, but let me take this opportunity to tell you what it could have been in regards to.

Tonight I am going to the strip club.

Because thatís where all the naked ladies are, stupid. And also because my friend works there and needs the support that only myself, and my group of supportive ass pals can give. She is a masseuse, and has been hired to give shoulder rubs to horny men while they look at naked unhorny women pretend to be horny. My friend stays fully clothed, but she has been, as of yet, too shy to ask the horny patrons if they would like to partake of her services in exchange for cash money. She has suggested that maybe if we, or I more importantly, visit the establishment and receive a massage or two whilste looking at naked ladies, the other horny men will get the fucking hint and want some for theyselves.

Always the martyr, I agreed to attend.

Haircut, Friday, naked women who are pretending to like me, free massagesÖ

HAIRCUT!

 

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