12:38 p.m. - 2002-05-30
It is the scourge of human existence. It is what makes me cry.
It is the demon that pollutes society, makes us lie to ourselves, makes us lie to each other, makes us wish for things that can never be, leaves us immobile and alone, or has us run like the very devil is after us.
Because it is.
Underachieve, overachieve, love too hard, not love enough. Believe in a god, not believe in anything. Remember, forget, try to forget, never forget.
It is the fucking devil.
How do you deal with it? Do you flee from the truth knowing that it is right behind your ass, always nipping at your heels, threatening to take you down? Do you face the truth and battle with it into eternity, never able to join the ranks of your fellow humans? Do you resent those who deal with it in a different way than you do? Do you find the balance?
I know too much already, and the promise of more knowledge freeing me from this race with perfection is akin to the idea of quenching the flames of a bonfire with kerosene, speeding up in order to stop, losing myself in order to find myself, staying awake to get much needed rest.
Run towards it or away from it or stay the fuck put?
I want a new choice please.