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6:41 p.m. - 2002-06-05
I miss those whiney little fucks.
Oh man, where the hell is the shut off switch for this thing?

You know, working as a carpenter I became privy to many of the little details in finish construction that the average person would never take notice of. Never, that is, unless they were shelling out the eighty grand to get their stupid bathroom remodeled, then they notice the hue of the glass on the shower door is aqua instead of marine, but that is a whole other entry that I never wish to write. Back to this piece of self-indulgence.

Now, as I walk around the city surrounded solely by objects that were hatched in some designerís brain at one time or another, (shit, even the placement of the few trees are contrived) I notice all of the little flaws and mistakes that were made by the workmen who fabricated this invented environment.

I canít help it. I see a huge beautiful structure and imagine the scaffold that must have been used in its creation. I see some crown molding and my eye follows it around the room looking for gaps that have been calked and corners that donít meet quite right.

Honestly, I donít really give a shit about this, but what I do care about it the amount of time and effort I have put into dissecting human behavior. I donít want to know why people act in ways that get them nowhere but empty-ville anymore. I donít want to know why I do the stupid shit I do, or even recognize it for that matter.

On a new thought, but related somehow Iím sure; I once saw a program on the TV about a tribe somewhere that escapes my abused memory where their shaman or medicine man is chosen at birth and raised in a cave until the age of sixteen or so.

The elders teach the boy the ways of the world through stories and lessons, but he never sees the outside until the day he immerges as a teen. He has been told of everything, trees, sky etc, but never beheld it.

I want to do that. I want to see the entire world for the first time. I want to have been given a verbal description of clouds and have tried my best to imagine them, only to be shocked at the fact that they are nothing like I ever dreamed of.

Or at least put Bug Juice back on the Disney Channel.


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