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5:07 p.m. - 2002-06-07
No one but me pulls my pants off anymore.
Well, my wee brother Matty P. graduated from UCSC this week, which clearly indicates that it is time for me to go to community college.

Matty is the man. He really is. I went down town and hung out in the sun with him this afternoon and was reminded what a good lil brother he is.

He was formed in my own image by me after all.

Trying to pick ones most embarrassing moment is a difficult task, especially for those of us prone to the showing our true fool character with little provocation needed. I wrote of one here in my one-on-one interview, and it definitely ranked up at the top. Others include the time that I was sitting in a lawn chair and rose to prepare for mobility only to find that both legs had agreed upon a nap without my consent and were useless in their duties of holding me in my upright position prompting me to tumble groundward and land prone on the same section of side walk as the three lovely young women who were strolling by at the moment.

They say make a woman laugh and shes yours. Not necessarily so Im afraid.

The altogether most hilarious and scarring of events in this category came as I took the public transport home from high school and was offered a seat in exchange for the full monty by five of the young girls who went to my school. I coyly agreed, and then promptly reneged on the deal once my ass hit the seat.

They collected. In unison, five girls are much stronger than one, especially one who would consider pulling such a bold maneuver, would expect. With one sitting on my chest, one on each arm, and one on each pant leg, the devices that will someday be used to ensure my genes are carried on into the next generation were exposed for all on the over crowded vehicle to consider.

The bus driver shook with laughter. The other students smiled and pointed. The girls pinched my cheeks and helped me up, and I readied myself for the rest of the hour-long ride to my stop.

Embarrassment is an emotion that will top out and disintegrate at a certain point, and I had gladly far surpassed that threshold on this occasion.

Hmmm. I miss high school.


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