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2:57 p.m. - 2002-07-12
I'd get shanked for him too, but happily more people probably want to stab me. Never mind why, bitch. Yeah I called you bitch, what are you going to do about it...HEY MIKE!
I'm not at home or on the surface of the sun. I'm at my friend Mike B.'s house and yes the initial is nessesary and no there isn't a Mike A..

The dose is kicking in and I have to say, fuck unmedicated fresh. I like the drugs.

Today is haircut day, sorry for the short notice and lack of count-down, but my fucked up burr-head is just one of many things I have been neglecting lately. IRregardless, it shall be shorn at precisly 7 pm Pacific this very eve at the hands of my barber David. He has been cutting my hair since before I started this diary because he has yet to forrest gump me.

Anyway, back to Mike B. news, he is finna star in a Saturn commercial that will play exclusively at the X games and other sporting event big screens. He is certain that no one will ever watch it as it will air at the exact moment Tony Hawk jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge onto the deck of an air craft carrier or some shit, but he still got paid $200 for the work, and that is better than fame. The spot called for a black guy with a big fro to walk around impatiently whilst waiting for delivery of a brand new Saturn. There are many, many reasons why this is hillarious. Mike B. would never, ever experience this. In fact, if I were to ride a time machine back three years and be given the choice between him getting paid to pretend to be in this situation for money, or him ever sitting behind the wheel of a Saturn, new or used, delivered, borrowed, stolen, or in his posession by any other means legal or not, I'd bet everything I have on A. But the folks at Saturn seem to think that if a young man like Mike B. will pretend to wait impatiently for one of their cars on film, maybe, just maybe some white guy at the X-games will opt to live the scenerio out in real life. Let's hope. Mike B. could end up being the next "Dude you're getting a Dell" asshole, and in this case I would have ample opportunity to punch him if he does.

Mike B. is one of my best friends. He is incredibly talented, and not all that driven. Lets put it this way, when someone asks ME to be their agent because they think that I will help them combat procrastination...

Do you have any friends who would get shanked for you? I have no doubt that Mike would get shanked right in the guts if it was one less wound that I would encour myself. That knowledge is better than a lot of things in the world.

He just woke up and said "Oh shit, I'm missing Matlock" He wasn't joking. That punch may come early.

He just told me that his favorite episode was the one where Matlock foiled a murderer by using a dog as a witness. But Murder She Wrote is garbage he maintains.

Do me a favor and buy and a fucking Saturn.


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