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4:03 p.m. - 2002-08-13
Fuck you, kiddies!
I just went through an uncharacteristly manic couple of hours. It has to do with an employment opportunity.

I’m done now.

Being manic I mean.

On my drive home form the interview, which went swimmingly, I was unable to dart in and out of traffic as I would have cared to. Thus I ended up behind a van full of young kids, most likely on a summer camp day trip somewhere, for a great distance.

Me, being manic at the time, and them being kids, we did the whole wave thing for about ten solid minutes. I’m sure you are aware that if you wave at a kid in a bus, they will wave back at you until you are out of site. Normally my demeanor is unmanic and I am likely to be all “fuck these little brats, what the fuck are you looking at, you think I'm going to wave at your dumb little ass just because you still are carefree and get to play kickball and shit while I slave away to pay taxes so your ass can go to school, get into college, become my boss someday, and thus make my life miserable?” and whatnot.

Today I was all “Hey kids! Off to the zoo or park? Aren’t you precious? Look at you, the future of our nation, right in a van, right in front of me! A whole truckload of sunshine, that’s what you are!”

So I waved, and then returned to them their peace sign, then gave them the hang loose Hawaii sign, then gave them the single and double thumbs up, than gave them the wave/peace sign, then gave them the heavy metal rock out sign, then gave them the wave again, then gave them the single thumbs up/peace sign, then pretended to pick my nose, then pretended that I got a juicy booger stuck to my finger and couldn’t fling it off, etc.

They wouldn’t get bored of it, as they never do, and it led me to recall the days of yore.

See, my mom is full of the mischief. She is an incredible woman who got great delight from embarrassing me and such. This came in the form of dropping me off at the school dance, and as I walked away trying to be cool for the girls, honking the horn and waving a hanky out the window, among other things. But today my own antics reminded me of a time when I was absent from school and riding with her in her car somewhere. I can’t remember if I was sick, or pretending to be sick, but if it was the latter my own acting skills must have had me half convinced myself. This I do know, we ended up behind a bus load of kids on a school field trip, all about my age, and all rambunctious and full of beans. We were stuck for a while, and one of the kids in the back, who must have been the class clown as that is where they always sit to the best of my recollection, was waving and making faces at us. I just sat there and begged my mom not to acknowledge him by waving back. She decided to respect my request to the letter, if not the spirit, by flipping the boy the international sign for “fuck you”.

Mayhem ensued, the delighted kid, and every other kid on the bus then pressed their face against the glass and tried their best to get her to do it again. She obliged, of course, as my mom loves the chillens.

I was mortified as I sat behind the bus for endless miles while my mom traded obscene gestures with my peers.

Good motherfucking times. You want an explanation for me, you don’t have to look very far.

 

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