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9:28 p.m. - 2002-08-30
I can't wait to show her my maggot farm!
I live alone. I have for months now, and anyone who ventures into this place would be able to realize such is the case with little detective training under their belt.

Here are some clues.

I drink water out of a cereal bowl because I have no clean glasses.

The chocolate milk bottle sitting right in front of me has transformed from a container housing a delicious beverage, to a fly trap when I put the lid on sealing them up for good, to a maggot farm in which the circle of life can be gloriously observed though the clear plastic. Them suckers is cute as long as they are not crawling in anything that I am going to eat, touch, or came out of the asshole of an animal. Then they're gross.

Pizza boxes hither, fro, and on yon furniture.

Murdered houseplants.

Vegetables that were given to me by my family over four weeks ago still in the fridge, you know, to keep their freshness.

The signs of my theory that if I were to buy twenty pairs of undywear I wouldnít have to do laundry being disproven via piles all over the floor.

Red videocassettes strewn about the living room.

One roll of toilet paper lasting a month.

Me, nekkid in the middle of it all due to my above theory not working out how I planned.

Bean is on her way here now, so I will clean up and start again. I have a feeling that now that I will not be spending all my time here, it will take a lot longer to get it back to this point, but I am through pretending that it wonít.

I didnít get my haircut like I said I was going to. I look like one of those troll dolls. Even more than usual.

Women make no sense to me still. I havenít been able to budge Bianca on the whole Bean Town disagreement, but somehow it is acceptable for me to call her Bean Laden when she is mean. Now, it may be weird to want to call your girlfriend Bean Town, or Bean laden for that matter, but isnít it even weirder to accept Bean Laden over Bean Town?

ISNíT IT?

 

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