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12:05 a.m. - 2002-09-10
I just hate the bay-to-breakers race.
So, I talked to the underpaid helper today again, and he seemed very interested in moving on. I didnít suggest that he work for me, but I thought about it.

He said that he wants to work with someone who will speak English to him so he can learn. I would be glad to speak to him in English and teach him how to do the talky parts of the job while he shows me what he knows about windows, but it would still entail stealing him from his current lead.

I was getting ready to consider it when he allowed at lunch break that he doesnít like clubs in the city because there are too much drugs, too many niggers there.

This puts me in a predicament and brings up the second round of moral self-examination illuminated by this guy. If he were white, I would not have hesitated to tell him that connecting those two things and using that word is fucked up. But as it stood, he is not only a visible minority himself, but the language barrier is such that it would be nearly futile to get into any kind of less than simple discussion involving prejudice and racism.

But it does leave me feeling less enchanted with the idea of going out of my way to help him out. I am not sure I even want to work with him.

This does bring up an interesting point though. Racism is a choice, but in my mind, is usually brought about by ignorance. Is it really fair to judge someone based on their ignorance, assuming that I am right in my stance on the subject? Judge them on that aspect, sure, but to completely write them off? On the other hand, I do feel a responsibility to my friends who fall into any minority category when they are disparaged in a blanket statement to speak the fuck up, and it does offend me as it is basically talking shit about my friends. But then, is it really my place to decide that just because I whole-heartedly believe in my position that every one who doesnít has no redeeming qualities? I know that this is not the case. However, is this a topic that eclipses any redemption?

One of my problems with being a liberal, which I definitely am, is that for a long time I followed the wave of calling everyone who is racist or prejudice, who basically has another opinion than I do, intolerant, and therefore refusing to tolerate them having a different set of ideas than me. I still, now, maintain that it is ignorant to ever categorize one race of people with a generalized behavior, but am I not being intolerant by not tolerating their ignorance?

I donít know, but I do know that I donít want to work with people who use racial epithets, even if the relationship will never go beyond work. I just donít like it.

AhhhÖfuck.

 

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