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7:24 p.m. - 2002-10-28
I felt like I may have had a contender after all of the buffet action, but I know that it is wishful thinking.
I met la famillia of Bean. (That means “family”, Bean)

Wow.

Na’ mean?

We drove to Las Vegas (The Vegas, Bean) and thus I was up for 24 hours straight. It didn’t faze me though because I have mad staying up late driving skills and what have you. I did, however, get my first ever moving violation because the fuzz pulled a fast one on me.

We saw the wedding, ate mad buffet food, and I turned my $5 into $100 in about twenty minutes at the black jack tables by getting my sin on proper and such. I’m good at gambling and staying up late driving, what I’m not good at is remembering to turn my alarm clock back for daylight savings when I get home so as to not wake up and drive half way to work before realizing that I just fucked up one of the sweetest gifts of autumn by not sleeping in an extry hour.

First moving violation and first wasted opportunity to be lazy.

Carnsornit!

You know what is really cool about the new generation of rappers bastardizing the form by only ever talking about how much money they have and shit? Not very much, but one thing is that all of the riches they claim to have and all of the cars and belonging talk has gotten sooooooooo motherfucking boring that I don’t even want that shit anymore.

You know how when you first get something that you really want, some sort of material item that has the power to make you feel good in the morning when you wake up just knowing that it is yours, but then after a few weeks or months or whatever you get complacent in its ownership and soon no longer even care enough to be excited and by our capitalist society's plan are then supposed to seek out the next high by lusting after something new? Well, these pieces of shit rappers have gotten me past any excitement I could have by purchasing a Bentley with 20 inch rims by playing it out with their repetitive, unimaginative poor excuse for hip hop to the point that I don’t ever have to spend the $350,000 myself!!

Yay!

That’s $350,100 earned thanks to gambling and shitty rap!

I got a delicious beverage on the trip back from Las Vegas in the form of an unsweetened iced tea contained in a “Twist and Go” cup. As I depleted the liquid I realized that this cup would be a great improvement over the chocolate milk bottle prototype used for my first maggot farm. I was joyous in the speculation when I realized that the maggot farm idea was all a joke and not something a grown man should be putting effort into creating.

Also, I got a google hit for “maggot farm” and was thus led to the search page to find that many other sick fucks have thought about the same idea.

Speaking of google hits, I am getting constant traffic for people looking for the world’s longest nipples. I don’t have them, or know anything about them. The worlds longest poo is not in my library of reference either.

 

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