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6:40 p.m. - 2002-11-26
Wah-wah, baby Eli
Cripes! I got hollered at by the president of the company today! It was all I could do not to talk back and pee on his leg and start singing the Beatles’ Charles Manson Family inspiring hit “piggies” followed by undoing all of the beautiful work I had accomplished that he chose not to comment on in favor of the one small and very fixable mistake.

Actually it wasn’t hard to not do it, but it was hard to not think about it as he lectured me. Or would have been I guess if I tried not to.

I’m working in the head office doing all kinds of carpentry to the building this week. At about 10am a stench permeated the building that was not unlike when my ol step dad had an egg salad sandwich for lunch and gastro intestinal so on and so on. Everybody assumed it was me since I’m the disgusting little hammer ape, but they were wrong. It wasn’t me, it was the goddamned sewer vent releasing fumes into the HVAC vents. Smelled like poo, it did.

IRregardless, what a bunch of crybabies! We’ve all smelled poo before folks, and as unpleasant as it is compared to fresh baked bread or a bushel of pine needles, it won’t kill the neck out of you.

I’m a crybaby too though. Wah, wah, I’m not depressed anymore. Boo hoo, my boss doesn’t give me credit for my work. Owie-ouch, I got shocked by 110volt current while I was changing the wiring—actually, that smarted a bit.

Well, my tummy hurts, time for baby to eat.


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