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10:37 p.m. - 2003-03-03
This just in--Hussein complies with inspectors, destroys all arms in Iraq including sticks and rocks, steps down as leader, exiles self and dies of heart failure, Bush says \"It's not enough\"
You know whatís going to be great? When future civilizations start digging us up and find things like silicone breasts and penile implants in our coffins. What the fuck are they going to make of that shit?

Maybe they will think that it was some sort of ritualistic mutilation to revere a god of some sort. If so they will be right, because we worship physical beauty like the most powerful and wrathful deity ever, complete with dogma and everything.

See, I was standing in a gas station line to buy junk food and noticed that 5 out of 6 magazines had circular breasted women peering off of the cover back at me. They look nothing like real women. And no, Iím not saying this to make any kind of political statement, it really is true. They looked like cartoons of women. It doesnít disgust me as much as amuse me.

Imagine how odd it will seem to these future archeologists when they discover that people had surgery in order to obtain an idea of physical beauty that exaggerated certain body parts to unnatural degreesóespecially since there is no way that our current standard of what is attractive will match the future one. We laugh at women who wore corsets to squeeze the hell out of their guts, or think it odd for people to use plates to stretch out their lips and earlobes, but we will cut ourselves open and put sacs of salt water here or there, or maybe even spend mad hours in the gym putting repetitive stress on our muscle fibers in order to manipulate them to grow.

I donít think that itís bad. Itís as human as wondering, inventing, worshiping or waging war until we destroy everything we have created in an egotistical and history-blind show of greed and fuckyouism.

Us silly peoples! Will we ever quit it?

 

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