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7:06 p.m. - 2004-03-06
Start with the pecker, end with the pecker.
Ay. Yi. Yi.

I have turned from a hunter and pecker typist, to a hunter…and even worse pecker typist.

You see, in the high stakes game of window replacement and related construction, every day one sets foot upon a new jobsite they are met with dangers. Mad dangers. From whirling saw blades, to rickety ladders, to the culprit of my recent disability, broken glass.

Sometimes, you see, when an installer is at the stage of un-installing an existing window to be replaced, they must make use of a glass cutter and of course, cut out the glass. It is unpleasant and dangerous, but for an imbecile like me, also an exercise in complacency at times. Yesterday was one of those. My good glass cutter has taken a powder as many of my tools seem apt to do, and thus I was using an inferior version that required excessive pressure to accomplish its task. Excessive pressure led to me ol’ right hand going through the pane, ol right index knuckle to fillet itself wide open on fragments, and our hero to grasp the recently separated skin together in a desperate attempt at reuniting them.

Off to the hospital we go to wait hours in the emergency room so I can be ushered to and fro until a doctor stitched up said gash.

After the banter back and forth (“tell me the truth doc, I’m ugly now, aren’t I?”), I asked him if I could go back to work. “Oh yeah,” He assured me.

I work with my hands, I informed him. I lift heavy objects and bend finger adjoining affected knuckle all day…

“No problem. This is nothing, you’ll have full use of it immediately.”

So back to work I went.. Upon return we lifted a window, about 9’ by 4.5’ into the hole which would be its new eternal home, and I felt a pop.

I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it wasn’t good. I thought at first it might be my new stitches un-stitching, but under examination, they were intact. After furthur check up, though, I could no longer straighten out my righty pointer.

You guessed it, the ol’ snapping of the tendon trick.

So back to the hospital, x-rays, bullshit, sitting around for hours, and told to make an appointment with a hand specialist on Monday for what will most likely be surgery and weeks of immobilization.

It is weird, this is the worst I have ever been injured. I have had close calls where the accident itself seemed worse, or scarier at least, but I have never been “disabled” before. I don’t care for it, but it is intriguing. I look at my finger and try to raise it and it barely moves. There is no pain involved, but no matter how hard I will it to, it won’t react properly. It makes all the other fingers seem like they are performing magic by doing what I ask of them.

Also, my under-appreciated left hand has stepped up like a champ. Shampooing, nose picking, eating and everything else…I have to admit, I don’t have much confidence it will be able to perform well in the self love department, but I am kind of excited to find out what it is like to be with a virgin.


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