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1:55 a.m. - 2004-03-18
Oh we are so dumb.
You know how sometimes you can be walking along on a sunny day and suddenly trip on a crack in the concrete that is so small you barely notice it even when you look back? Or twist your ankle by misjudging the edge of the curb?

And do you also know how you can be running full tilt in the just-post twilight with barely a sliver of the moon to illuminate your surroundings, on a dirt path with rocks and branches here and there, the cold air intensifying the feeling that some other sense not normally drawn on is somehow guiding each of your steps to find solid purchase?

No analogy, just kind of weird.

Today, today, today. Today I watched some daytime TV. Fucking hideous. Do you know that Jerry Springer is still on and has somehow sunk even lower than before? The show chronicled an onstage hour in the lives of two women who were both in love with the same convict. One of the women was large but not the kind that prolly gets told she has “such a pretty face” as consolation. The other was skinny, and better have used that as her consolation. We all know that looks are not the be all and end all, but redeeming qualities were as scarce as the teeth in their respective heads.

I have to interject that there is no exaggeration for comedic/poetic license here.

For some reason they thought that the best, or perhaps the only way to settle their differences was to strip down to their panties and shake their titties and then try to slap each other while the crowd, and a woman who to the best of my knowledge had the sole responsibility of dancing onstage in a bikini, chanted “Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!”

They fought, and bellowed about who was a bigger slut and who was uglier and whether a baby by, or letters written from said man in prison was a bigger sign of devotion.

Then came the time for audience Q&A. It seems that the unanimous feeling of the audience was that "no one would want to sleep with your ugly asses anyway because you don’t have this!" *lift shirt and have breasts blurred out to chants of “Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!”*.

You know, I really would like to ask these people who they are going to vote for, and find out if this is the part of the population that is still thinking it was a good idea to go get that Saddam bin Laden sombitch and free the Iraqis from the 9-11 terrorist liberals.

And it also made me wonder why all the people who are up in arms because two people of the same sex asking to have their love recognized is going to ruin the sanctity of marriage don’t have a problem with titty flappin, fisticuff on national’, convict baby daddifying, illiterate unfit parents getting engaged seemingly every day?

Maybe us heteros should clean house first before we start pointing out the imagined future rips in the threadbare fabric we call family values.

You stupid fucks.


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