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12:26 a.m. - 2005-01-06
Oh yeah, plus free Shirley Temples in the casinos. What other job offers free Shirley Temples?
Sometimes you have to find your own purpose.

This year my resolution is to have my eyes closed in every photo taken of me. I got a good start at my Pop’s Birfday party this weekend. It is more difficult than it seems, seeing that without the concerted effort all years previous I was still able to get a high percentage. The trick is making sure the snap-shotter doesn’t get privy to your plot, but still beating the flash to the blink.

Argh. One of the things I was obsessed with in my life was the cultivation of marijuana. Oh man was I good at it. The problem is the mastery of this is not very admirable to the majority of grandparents, moms and pops, or the fuzz. The only people to impress with it was a passel of potheads who were likely to be as excited by the two-cheese nachos I was also deft at cultivating.

Clandestine. Shady. Marginal by society’s standards.

Well, here is strike two. As trendy as it is, I have become enamored with poker. But not like the average Joe, you see. I am the little feller that gets five books on poker and reads them each twice. And then reviews. I am the one who not only watches the professional games, but records and re-watches. More than once. I am the guy who put $66 in an online poker site and turned it into over $600. In less than two weeks.

And I am the guy who is biding his time until he can afford a tattoo that reads “Working is for Saps” right accross the belly a la Tupac.

So you see. It only makes sense that I would therefore be obsessed with making my living playing poker at some point. It has all the right ingredients. Excitement. Risk. No boss. Being disrespectable in the eyes of the vast majority of the populace. And most of all, of course, the likelihood of being twice as much work as a regular job.

Stay tuned as I prepare to throw my life away.


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