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8:48 p.m. - 2002-04-29
Hmmm, sounds pretty sticky, but which planet are they talking about? There ain't much gravity on mars so their glues needn't be that strong...
I get upset about stupid things. Like the fact that Gorilla Glue says it is “The strongest glue on planet earth”.

People who wouldn’t infer that the planet they spoke of was this planet, or wouldn’t know that this planet is earth probably can’t read, and if they can they sure as fuck shouldn’t be allowed to touch an adhesive that is considered to be the strongest on the planet. Earth.

It upsets me. It upsets me to the point that I want to begin a career in politics just so I can become mayor of a town and rename it Planet Earth.

Why?

So those motherfuckers at the Gorilla Glue company will have to pay out the nose to change their labels to say “The strongest glue on planet earth, we mean the actual planet, not the town mayored by Heckafresh.”

That’ll learn ‘em.

 

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