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9:02 a.m. - 2004-11-23
I've listened to them before. I'm not joking.
So, I’m surfing porn on the internet and I come across a series of photos depicting a nurse who is just too randy to stay in her uniform it seems. I like to think about this idea, even if it is cliché as fuck. Problem though. It would appear that this nurse has opted to use her stethoscope to get a magnified listen of her genitals. In every picture she is checking for the faintest of sounds with the instrument.


That is stupid.


I got to see good ol’ Beta play in her orchestra AND her bad ass band. She won’t like reading this, but fuck that girl can sing, play the viola, play the bass, play guitar, play the accordion, and sound GOOD when doing it.


I been hanging out with beta at least one a week at the watering hole. I like that bar. There are many reasons for this, but one is I now have proof that if I were gay, I could bag a better-looking boyfriend than any of my exes can.


Here is my list of post election possibilities.

1. CENSORED DUE TO PATRIOT ACT


2. CENSORED DUE TO PATRIOT ACT


3. CENSORED DUE TO PATRIOT ACT


4. Join the winning team and begin picketing funerals with signs declaring “God Hates Fags”, (just as Jesus would have done if us Christ killers hadn’t got Him), start picking up scorpions and poisonous centipedes whilst protected from their stings by the good lord above, gazooowhereabillington (that’s “tongues” for start speaking in tongues), get me a gun—but use it to shoot at Osama posters, not for my plans in Items 1-3, go find everyone that has ever crossed me and punch ‘em right square in the snot-piece lest they are planning to assassinate me with their hidden cache of samurai swords, which , by the way, if it turns out they don’t have you must appreciate my resolve..etc


5. Move back to Canada and marry the highest bidder who wants to go with me.

Number four seemed like the least stressful on the mental capacity too. I could use that.

 

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