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8:27 p.m. - 2001-10-26
What The Fuck Is Wrong With Me? Oh...that.
I don't know about you, but I'm sick of my brain. Thinking is for saps. Look at this:

DisorderRating
Paranoid:Low
Schizoid:Low
Schizotypal:Low
Antisocial:Low
Borderline:Low
Histrionic:High
Narcissistic:Moderate
Avoidant:Low
Dependent:Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:Low

-- Click Here To Take The Test --

That shit is true too. I don't care too much, at least now I think too highly of myself instead of all the other ways my brain has fucked with me in the past. And I do seem to be moving away from the highlighted problems too. Sometimes I wonder though, are people who don't suffer from personality disorders lacking the disorder, or the personality?

Seriously though, what a piece if shit my brain is. It has a very simple job- regulate my goddamn body so's I can function. What's so difficult about that? But nooOOOoo.

"Here Eli, have some extra testosterone. Ummmm…how much serotonin was I supposed to release again? Fuck it, there, that oughtta do it. I know, why don't I just play the same irrational thought over and over and over while I take a little break. He was just going to sleep anyway, he'll never notice."

I'd love to fire his lazy ass, but since he's the only organ qualified for the job at the present time, I guess I'll just have to take over some of his chemical releasing duties myself every now and then. If you want something done right…

You know what I have noticed? Moods are a bunch of bullshit--that's what.

Not a damn thing has changed for me between yesterday and today, nothing of importance has occurred, yet just because there was a sunbeam on my face for a few hours yesterday, I felt great. Today was an okay day. I probably got more shit done today and should have felt even better. But nope. Today was cloudy. Boo fucking hoo. So now I'm all grumpy and pissy, it shouldn't be that way. I even got laid today for chrissakes, what, doesn't that count any more? Did you forget about that already you fucked up little mushy blob of synapses? YOU STOOPID BRAIN!! Regulate goddamn you!

Alright, enough brow beating the ol' thinkpiece. He just reminded me that he's the one who thunk up all the lies that got me in a position to get laid in the first place. True, true.

We get our new fridge tomorrow. Yippee! Getting rid of the freezer-burn o' matic oughtta make me feel good, weather permitting. I'll let you know.

Humbug.

 

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