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11:55 p.m. - 2002-07-25
Heckafresh returns to the sap ranks.
I worked tonight. In a fancy French restaurant run by a sexually repressed Chinese Canadian woman.

My friend Jackie hooked it up and lied to them about my experience and taught me all about the serve from the left, clear from the right rule and such.

The most important fact is now I am officially off Biancaís shit list for being a scrub and I will be reaping the rewards all weekend long.

I forgot to eat before my shift and the smell of sauces and fishes and porks cooking was driving me half insane bringing my insanity total up to 125% and causing no small degree of vexation. I was vexed for certain.

And it made me think for the jillionth time about the question of eating the leftovers off of a plate that was first served to a stranger.

Yeah I did it.

So why the fuck not, I ask. For real though, all of the patrons were cleaner than most of my friends and associates I would wager, and I have taken a sip from a persons drink who was introduced to me in the same evening, and I have even licked the privates of a girl who I had met just the same day, so what the fuck is so wrong with it?

I mean if I had been dining with the people in question instead of acting as their servant, no one would bat an eye at the prospect of me forking some of their delicious food into my hungry face hole, but just cause I donít know their name? Just because I have never shook their hand Iím supposed to throw that hunk of salmon or barely touched crŤme brule into the trash whilst so many are starving in the world?

Feed the hungry, thatís my goddamned motto. And frankly I havenít eaten so well in months.


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