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10:56 p.m. - 2003-09-04
Well, an update is an update. Or sumthin.
Bare white ass reflecting light as if it were dipped in chrome, our hero shuffled his way across the floor embarking on the most important of quests. His enemy had seen fit to disable him in a fiendish way, forcing him to travel with feet shackled by lowered trousers, knees bent, and back hunched over in a position all humans find themselves for the same specific reason from time to time.

Why!?!? He thought to himself.

Yes, friends, my roommate ran out of toilet paper in his bathroom and looted my own dispenser leaving a glaring, barren, spring-loaded bar in its place. Of course this was discovered after the bulk of my binness had been accomplished leaving me with a bad case of the poo-butt thus forcing me to walk around as if I was imitating a tyrannosaurus in search of replacment.

Motherfucker.

The good news is, bottom-wiping difficulties are about the only type I have been having during my little diary hiatus. Job is fantastic, Bean is terrific, had a wee vacation to visit my dear ol mom in Canada, my friends are golden, and I had Italian food for dinner.

Twas my birfday round bout a month ago ushering in my last year in the twenties. Good fucking riddance, as far as Im concerned. What a shitty little decade that was, although it is finishing up quite nicely.

Christ, Im so fucking boring now a days.

 

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