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8:21 p.m. - 2002-01-16
Ha motherfucking ha.
Why?

S'funny one there higher power.

Let's say we have a confused but brilliant little hero who is having trouble getting a bearing on the next path he should take. He has been going through many changes, especially in the four months since he began documenting his life on the internet for everyone and anyone to see. Yeah I know, what a weirdo.

Anyway, he finally begins to see the light of the situation--he is a writer after all, he wasn't wrong all those years that he claimed to be one even though he produced nary a page. He was just--uninspired or some shit…who gives a fuck, that little sucker is typing up a storm now, okay?

So, our little pal takes this confusion and tries to shape it to his needs. Why, it must all be a sign that it is time to get off of the ol' beaten, yet familiar and comfortable path, and follow the dream that he has had since he was a wee tot and become the writer that he has always claimed to be.

He'll just continue being a bar baboon at night, and during the day he'll attend school and sharpen his craft. The crime fighting will be made up on weekends and holidays.

So he gets comfortable with his decision as it begins to resonate in his little thinkpiece. Smiles grace his face with more and more frequency as the path opens up before him.

Way to go, Champ! Everyone rejoices, especially the weeknight criminals--but wait!

What's that sound?

It resembles the ringing of a cell phone! One of those annoying rings that must have been chosen for the sole reason that it was found to irritate our hero's old boss the very most!

Who could be ringing our newly de-confused hero?

The company that turned down young Heckafresh for the job he sought so desperately only months ago? Offering to interview him for the very position he had applied for and wished for and spoke of in this very diary? Right when he was coming to terms with leaving the construction game for good, even becoming pleased with the notion?

Yes. Them.

Haha. That's right up there with installing the most heat sensitive skin on our bodies on the roof of our mouths while making pizza taste so good one can't wait for it to cool down.

 

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